Keeping Up with the Belks

I am starting a one woman campaign against Suite and its discriminatory hiring practices. The EEOC prohibits companies from discriminating based an race, religion, gender, age, sexual orientation, and hotness.

Honestly, why I am not hot enough for Suite?

Upon receiving my first student loan repayment bill about a month ago, I began what has now become a desperate search for a second job. Suite’s website stated they were hiring for all positions, and since I have had friends put themselves through grad school being beer tub girls, I sent them a resume as well as a photo. They told me to swing by during my lunch hour the next week to pick up an application.

When I showed up one Monday I thought I was looking pretty hot. I have a bad habit of checking out my reflection in the windows of my building as I walk into work, so I took a quick look on the way down. My mirrored image along with the whistle of the sabrett stand guy confirmed to me that I was looking good as I strutted down Trade towards Epicentre. But when I walked in and asked for an application, the guy who replied to my email tossed one over the counter, acting like he never heard of me. When I dropped it back off the next week, I talked with a guy for 15 minutes who said they’d call me later in the afternoon to set up a meeting.

I didn’t get a call and I still don’t have a second job. I wasn’t even hot enough for an interview!

Some of you may think that maybe it has nothing to do with appearance, but you’re wrong. Seriously, have you seen the girls who work there? They’re practically naked. Plus, I was around for the recruiting of girls to work at Whiskey River, so I know it is the one qualification they are looking for at Epicentre. And if they want experience, I have plenty of that too.

As much as it bothers me that this is how they determine who to hire, it bothers me even more that this is how they determine who to hire, and they aren’t hiring me! To state my case, here is a pic of me.

I mean, I guess my face could use some work cause it’s all smeary and weird. But the point is, I have a good body. I realize that because I don’t believe in fake baking (in the summer), and don’t have plastic boobs or platinum blonde hair, which makes me not that desirable to Charlotte men at large. But I get checked out by the Brooks Brothers crowd and ogled by summer associates at my office enough to know that I could sell a ton of $8 shots to young professionals trying to get drunk on a Thursday night. Now, look at this picture of a girl working at Suite, courtesy of Lazyday.com:

She is lovely. Really. And she isn’t super blonde or tan like some of the other girls I’ve seen handing out club flyers. All I am saying is, if she can wear next to nothing for tips, why can’t I?

A broke girl can’t exploit her looks in a faux classy manner for a quick buck? What’s this city coming to?