Keeping Up with the Belks

(once again)

I’ve been putting off writing this, my official come back post, for over four months now.  Frankly, trying in one post to reintroduce myself to all of you, to sum up everything this blog was and will be about, to be funnier, wittier, snarkier, and more candid than I’ve ever been before, well,  it’s just too much damn pressure.  So instead of trying to live up to my your unreasonably high expectations, I’m just going to say, Hey! I’m back.  And my gawd, have I missed you.

You can find all of my old posts here on the newer and shinier Keeping Up with the Belks (KUWTB.com).  Feel free to take a moment and bookmark me now, I’ll wait.

I drawed this.

That’s better.  Mad crazy props go out to the fine gentlemen at Web Design Company That Shall Remain Nameless Dot Com for the build. That’s my real (giant) figure in the header and that’s George Shinn’s actual helicopter too.  I know, right?

I’ve been blogging, or should I say, essay writing in my extended absence.  Those new, albeit slightly outdated, posts will be popping up over the next week.  If you are new to KUWTB feel free to check out my brand new Say What? page — there you’ll find frequently used terms as well as introductions to my cast of characters.  And if you need some more Meck, like, right now, you may like some of my favorite posts from below:

• Here you can read the post that launched a thousand dreams (I know, right?)

• Or, if you’re bored with my words already, you might like my favorite youtube videos.

• Maybe you’d like to know some of the crazy things that people say on elevators and the Gold Rush.

• Here you can read the not-that-mean review that put KUWTB on the map.

• And here you can learn how to Keep Up with the Belks in 3 simple lessons.

• You should probably read about who made my shit list, otherwise known as the Chameleon Lemonheaded Coward Terrorist Pussy awards.

• Here is a taste of my more serious stuff, if you think you can handle it

• Click here for the guest post I wrote for Minimum Failure (represent!)

• This is the post that gets KUWTB the most search engine results.

• And this is 25 things you probably don’t need to know about Meck, but should read anyway.

• You can read here about why I hate Suite.

• Last but not least, this is the eulogy I wrote for my Ford Tempo. RIP.

When I left you in May, I tweeted goodbye with the emo lyrics of tAtu.  Today let’s part on better terms.  Say, to the immortal words of Mark Morrison?