Keeping Up with the Belks

Begin at Settler’s Cemetery, 5:00pm is social hour.
Notice the bottle blonde in a skirt suit
talking to the banker in neatly pressed chinos.
Next to them, a yorkie taking a shit
on the grave of founder Thomas Polk.
Downwind a homeless man on a bench,
encircled by empty tallboys of Pabst,
can smell the desecration.
Continue towards Trade noting the
Presbyterian Church that [...]

Today, via Charlotte Viewpoint, I found my way to an old mashable post (original Menshealth) that shows Charlotte ranking 21st in the nation for the most socially networked cities. My reaction is not so much surprise as it is, “so what?” No, really, who gives a flying fudge? Have you been on Charlotte social media [...]

Today on Facebook, Charlotte Viewpoint asked fans to share what three things they ALWAYS carry in either their bags or pockets. They also offered a picture to get us started. Apparently someone at the magazine ALWAYS carries an orange, a spoon, a writer’s notebook, and what appears to be a pack of gum (likely purchased [...]

So I know that no one follows this blog anymore because I never write anything, but for those two people who are still subscribed to the RSS and for my friends and family members who check it dutifully, this is for you:
In August this blog is changing, and my twitter account will become @myrealname (and [...]

By now you’ve probably read about the new Penguin. The sparkly chairs, the state of the fried pickles, the souvenir promo cups. You may have even eaten there already, or principle kept you away. Today, curiosity got the best of me. I wish it hadn’t.
The changes are small. So small that they shouldn’t bother me. [...]

The city imposed itself on the landscape, stretching its arms as far and thin as possible. Each week day workers were folded into its embrace and then released back into the emerald promise of easily accessible suburbs. In fact, its whole existence seemed to be justified by the reassurance “don’t worry, you don’t have to stay.” So [...]

Gentlemen. Ladies. This. THIS. Is going to be so much fun!
Where to start…?
1) Is there a word for something that’s so bad it’s good? If not, the word for it should be this video. I’ve watched “It’s so much fun to be this good” (ISMF2BTG) enough times now to normalize the cheesy original composition and [...]