I have been working full time for a little over a year now. During that time I have been asked by no less than fifteen different people, all either from or currently living in NC, how much I earn each year. In fact, the only persons who inquired who live outside of the state were my parents (who I felt obliged to tell considering all the help they have given and continue to provide me with.) But honestly, fifteen. I only consider 2 or 3 of them close enough friends to provide with that information. And when I take in to account that they had the audacity to ask, I don’t feel compelled to share with anyone.

Of course, sometimes I do. Most recently with a friend who is moving back to NC from abroad who graduated with the same “useless” degree I did. When we were discussing job prospects in the city and the earning potential of different career paths, he asked, and since it seemed more relevant to the conversation than intrusive, I spilled…with an estimate. Because for one thing, I work two jobs, and even with just one, my salary figure doesn’t accurately reflect the extensive benefit package offered by my employer or the variety of “perks” I get on a regular basis. And for another, no one needs the exact number.

Other times, I have shut it down. For instance, last summer during an outing in uptown I bought a round of drinks for a group of friends I hadn’t partied with in awhile. This prompted the question from the group. It caught me so off guard that it took me several moments to finally blurt out “sorry, but I’d rather not share.” I felt bad shutting them down, but I didn’t want them to think my generosity was anything more than what it was: wanting to do something nice for people I like.

I’ve always thought of any “how much” question as rude, intrusive, and a major over step of boundaries. But in Charlotte, it seems like I’m in the minority.

Another example, how much is your rent? This one pops up even more frequently. To be fair, I don’t have a mortgage, and I’ve never overheard anyone ask someone how much their house cost or what they mortgage payment is. But for some reason, rent seems to be fair game. Maybe it’s because anyone could look up the price you paid for a house on the mecklenburg county real estate search (which, btw, I strongly discourage). But this is just as easily done with apartment complexes. Look up current availabilities and you can get a fairly accurate picture (again discouraged). Maybe it’s because among young people apartment searches are more frequent and price is important. But whatever the reason behind the curiosity, this is one of the things you just shouldnt be asking.

If someone wants to offer their “how much” and it works in the conversation, then by all means, it’s theirs to offer. But I would never ask, and neither should you. We don’t really need to know how much our friends or family members make. And they don’t need to know that about us. Having that information just opens the door to making assumptions about someone’s financial situation. It’s bad enough with the information we provide daily (our wardrobes, cellphones, vehicles, homes, attendance at social events).

I didn’t want my girlfriends to think I was spending recklessly or that I could be a constant source of free beverages (whatever the case may have been). I feel bad sometimes when I don’t answer. Because I know people will continue to assume things, including the idea that I may be trying to hide something about my financial situation. But I shouldn’t have to feel bad, because under no circumstances should anyone be asking me this question, even if they do buffer it with “if you don’t mind me asking”. Yes, actually, I do.

So much for impeccable southern manners. Sound off Charlottans: how often do you get asked how much?

“I realized there was nowhere else to make this movie,” he said on a second visit to The Observer office. “Charlotte’s the city Washington wishes it were. In a lot of ways, it’s hipper than Washington: There’s no neighborhood as cool as Plaza Midwood in the nation’s capital, and your restaurants are certainly better.”

So let me get this straight, cash-strapped and lay-off ridden Observer: Charlotte isn’t as cool as Washington. Charlotte wishes it was as cool as Washington. Is that the point you are trying to make? Also, that no celebrity would ever think we’d be as cool as Washington. That our restaurants don’t compare. Neither do our neighborhoods. Is that what I’m sensing here? I know Charlotte tries to be a “world class” city, whatever that means. And I know that when all those Charlottans keeping up with the belks make the whole city on a mission to keep up with New York, or DC, or LA, or wherever, we usually just end up looking like we’re trying too hard. I’ve said that as much as anyone. But, I will also say there are a lot of good things about Charlotte. (Certainly not the newspaper which would DEFINITELY not compare to anything published in DC.) Charlotte is certainly different and that’s not necessarily bad. Side by side comparisons are really only fair when you’re comparing identical twins.

Also notice how they were sure to include that it was Will Smith’s SECOND visit to the Observer newsroom. I’m sorry – but would anyone in one of those “better” cities like DC even consider Smith A-list anymore? And if so, would they go absolutely apeshit when he visited and act like Jesus Christ himself stopped by the newsroom with the Jonas Brothers and the paper’s all 13 year old female reporting staff would be all, omg, seriously, you guys, Will is SUCH a nice guy. He, like, totally signed an autograph for me. Breaking news, y’all.

Smith hopes to start shooting the $150 million feature in October, because “the trees here are so pretty

Really. The trees are pretty. That’s all you got? Are you even trying? Sarah is that you? Are you in the snuggie again? Maybe take it off and go to a writers workshop. You know, Texas Lexi actually remarked on how much she liked the trees when she visited. And even though she lives in Texas and as such can only like Texas, she did have a lot of more substantial reasons, other than trees, as to why she thought Charlotte was a cool city. Where are yours?

he expects Charlotte-area locations can double every other spot needed for the picture. For instance, all the Hawaii scenes will be shot around Lake Wylie.

Now, I’ve never been to Hawaii, but I’m fairly certain that I won’t be disappointed to learn that an Island in the pacific ocean is a little more tropical and pretty than a lake in South Carolina. Just a thought.

He has researched local politics intensively and will audition former city council member Lynn Wheeler as GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin and longtime Mayor Pat McCrory as presidential candidate John McCain.

“We’d have to age him a little,” Smith admitted. “But the essential spirit is the same.”

The lowest blow of them all. At least Mayor Pat will have a job in Charlotte longer than most of your staff will.

It’s necessary to be able to laugh at ourselves. Especially about things that are obvious Charlotte jokes (the arlington, jake delhomme’s arm). But by mocking the essential worth of your own city, you just sound like a big, hairy, hemmoroid dripping asshole. There is a line to teasing and that line is often made up of this one important statement “i kid because i care”. Observer, you crossed that line. And even sadder for you, you missed much funnier jokes in the proccess.

Example:

The Charlotte Observer lays off real journalists in favor of continuing to fund blogs Paid to Party and That’s Wassup –> actually true!!!!

The Charlotte Observer earned profits in the first quarter of 2009.

And of course, the most obvious joke of them all, THIS.

Observer, the city of Charlotte is NOT your punch line. But go ahead and keep it up anyway. I swore I’d never say this but you really leave me no other choice. In the spirit of your own readers, I offer this advice: if you like DC so much, there’s the door *points to I-85 with middle finger*. Maybe one of their papers will hire you when McClatchy goes bankrupt. Now, THAT is funny.

But the ever tactful, determined, and well mannered Observer commenters will not be stopped. For example, the following comment on this story concerning the Department of Social Services not actually expensive Christmas party:

Oh, Charlottans. Have I told you lately that I love you?

But I got a pleasant surprise when I was getting my usual LOLz: the trailer for Rogue Helicopter Pilot the movie. A Charlotte blockbuster in the making…

Seriously Charlottans: watch classic David here and then watch the Movie Trailer here. You will laugh all the way from the Magnolia tree to the property line.